October is coming

the scar project

As fall slowly approaches I start to feel some emotions from my past.  Sometimes I almost feel that horrible feeling I had when I first found out.  It must be some sort of post traumatic stuff.  I was just thinking the other day I almost forget what it all felt like in the beginning.  Well.....it's only very quick moments I get the feeling.  I had a few mornings that were very hard.......cool fall mornings were hard in 09.  Getting out of bed is hard at times......I dread thinking about cancer. 

This other morning I was in the grocery store and I ran into another survivor.  I thought to myself "Gee here she is just living her life"  "Here I am just living............it's almost unreal."  Some days I bitch and moan and carry on with my usual stuff..........you would think I would be the happiest person on the planet, but how quick we forget.  Then it hit me~ I had a disease that was slowly killing my body!  Cancer was going to be my death; a death I for sure NEVER wanted.  Heart attack during my sleep- awesome, but to know I had cancer and was going to die- NEVER.  When I would think about death the only good I could get from a cancer death is that they had time to prepare others, but I pictured that death like trying to scratch your way out of coffin as they slowly covered it with dirt.  I scared my self thinking that cancer may end up being my way.  And then I wasn't scared.....as much as I want to go back to my life BEFORE, where I was clueless and happy..........I'm not so scared............I'm not so scared.  I've grown a bit.  I love God so much and I love everyone who pulled the cancer off me.  I wanna live my life as a good happy person in honor of all the people who SAVED my LIFE. 

CANCER KILLS plain and simple.  

BUT-YES my priests, nuns, parents, husband, son, and all the rest of my big family, my sweet breast cancer sisters, friends, that little church in Port Crane, my doctor, my surgeon, my oncologist, my radiologist, my nurses they SAVED MY LIFE!  Wow...the love they've shared can still be felt today and sure pushes away a lot of the bad feelings.           

Something to read over while having your morning tea

Exercise and Camaraderie Fight Aftereffects of Cancer

By Greg Freiherr | September 10, 2010

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Patients are beating cancer only to fall prey to sexual dysfunction, body pain, and chronic disease. The physical symptoms of their success increase the emotional burden, leading to anxiety, depression, and even suicide, as they are reminded daily of the chance that the cancer they had might return or a new one might occur.

But there may be an easy way to relieve this burden and improve patient health. In the July/August issue of Current Sports Medicine Reports, University of Alberta research fellow Amy Speed-Andrews, Ph.D., has found that yoga can dramatically improve patients’ sense of well-being.

For two years, Speed-Andrews has surveyed breast cancer patients and survivors at the beginning and end of 10-week sessions of Iyengar yoga, which uses blocks, blankets, and balls to help participants realize the asanas, or poses. All the women were being treated for or had completed cancer treatment. At the end of the session, 94% said their quality of life had improved, 88% felt better physically, 87% reported being happier, and 80% felt less tired. Other improvements were reported in body image and in decreased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. This is particularly significant, Speed-Andrews said, considering breast cancer treatments often leave women immobilized, in pain, tired, and depressed.

Iyengar yoga made the exercises easier to do, helping patients attain a wide range of movement. But the biggest boost may have come from being surrounded by classmates with similar experiences.

“A lot of them reported they like having classes purely for cancer survivors, especially breast cancer survivors,” Speed-Andrews said.

This camaraderie and improved physical fitness may be especially important for the more than two million breast cancer survivors who make up about a quarter of all cancer survivors in the U.S. Their complex treatments often extend for prolonged times. Adverse effects and symptoms of the disease, including infertility, menopausal symptoms, and fatigue, may linger for years. Other effects may include second cancers, lymphedema, and osteoporosis.

Up to 30% of breast cancer survivors experience persistent anxiety or depression after completing treatment, according to Cheryl Rock, Ph.D., a professor of family and preventive medicine at the University of California, San Diego, who is leading the multicenter research.

“We believe weight loss and increased physical activity in overweight breast cancer survivors will have a positive effect on psychosocial problems and coexisting medical conditions,” she said. “They may even reduce the risk of breast cancer recurrence.”

Rock will lead a five-center clinical trial to examine the effects of weight loss and increased physical activity on quality of life for breast cancer survivors. Documenting improvements in psychosocial and medical comorbidities during the trial could itself change the norms of clinical practice, Rock said, setting up a new aspect of care for breast cancer survivors after initial treatment.

Another Website/Shop with Pockets!

They do ship international and they do take Paypal as well......

DiMurini

I love this babydoll with pockets!

This bra is sweet............

And they have cute matching knickers.....see I'm getting the brit words down!

Victoria's Secret needs to know...some of us have 1 breast and maybe none at all!

 It's Super hard to find nice mastectomy bras that are remotely sexy and make me not miss Victoria's Secret!

At last a couple of things that make me forget about VS.

 A carrying case for my insert how nice.... I don't have to tuck it in my shoes when I pack it!  

 Check out this bathing suit- so up to date!

http://www.nicolajane.com/

http://www.nulifemedical.com/store/pc/Amoena-Bras-Lara-Lace-2795-Mastectomy-Bra-385p2932.htm

http://www.ladyjaneboutique.com/mastectomybras.php?cat=2

http://www.lindasonline.com/anita-care-0023-prosthesis-care-case.html

http://www.kamastectomybras.com/

and the Brits they really have a variety

And my favorite right now is from the UK-

http://www.chantillyrose.co.uk/post-surgery/Loungewear-and-Nightwear/21

I don't know why in the USA I haven't found as many nice sites and by nice I mean sites I actually like to look at where I don't feel less than others.  I know in fact that in losing my breast I am more than some;  I've grown and yes I know better what matters.  BUT I still like nice things, and I like nice websites that make me want to look as good as the model.  It's just the way I and I think most girls like to shop.  

In the days of my first finding out about my cancer it was heart breaking when the Victoria's Secret catalog came.   This was a catalog that got me many of dresses for special occasions, bras during their big bra sale and the swim suits motivated me to start getting ready for summer, but I couldn't even look at the magazine.  Knowing I was going to lose my breast was heart breaking and Victoria's Secret was adding to it, so for a long time it went straight to the garbage.  I am O.K. with now, but it took a while.  I often wonder how they don't sell mastectomy bras being the bra experts they are.  I guess there is no real money in it AND isn't that sad~ our budget for bras has changed just because of CANCER~ what bullshit!  I'll be damned if I'm gonna let cancer take my bra shopping away even if I have to get the good from the UK ;) 

and p.s. mastectomy bras are NOT cheap!

       

  http://www.eloise.co.uk/mastectomy-bras/t-shirt-bras

Here's some of their stuff: 

Some of their models are also survivors and they just look so happy

They give hope

We know they've been through the hell, but look they still can dress with their own style and SMILE!